Help for Peer Counselors and Supporters

Support for Peer Counselors

There are many kinds of support personnel in Second Life®. Some are licensed/registered/credentialed professionals. Some are affiliated with churches or spiritual organizations. Some are individuals who just want to help others. They may not have any special training or experience, just a desire to be of help. This page is for you. You may find it helpful, you may find it alarming, you may learn something. But if you offer any kind of peer support service in SL, please read on :-)

A Peer Counselor is a trained volunteer (supervised by a professional) who provides support and helps connect people beneficial services. Peer Counselors should attend a training courses and attend regular follow-up meetings with social service professionals.

A peer counselor can connect you with services that encourage you to feel better. S/he is trained to help with a variety of circumstances, such as loneliness, sadness, relationship problems, illness, disability, and worry. Some peer counselors are specially trained in substance abuse or other disorders, and perhaps they have experienced this themselves.

Often someone will suggest a new resident as a Peer Counselor to me. I always ask about the person's background, experience, and training. What qualifies them to be a Peer Counselor, and why do they want to be one? Often the response is something like "Well....I dunno. She's good." I never usually find out what "good" actually means, but I try to pass along info that might be of help in Peer Counseling in general.

Peer Counselors are not a substitute for a trained mental health professional. They must recognize their boundaries and know how and when to refer a person to Real Life help. They do not diagnose or treat.

No. This is a decision each Peer Counselor must make. Are you a friend, or are you a volunteer helper? There is nothing wrong with simply being a friend to someone who needs it, but this is not the same as the role of a Peer Counselor.

I'll say right off the bat - if you feel overwhelmed or lost with a person's issues, get help. I talk to Peer Counselors in-world all the time. They will talk to a person seeking help, hear what they have to say, IM me with the notecard of the transcript (a BIG no-no according to Second Life Terms of Services and ethically as well), and say "What should I do next?" And so on. Once, sure. Daily, you're over your head. What can you do? Take a class in RL, read some books, REFER the person to the help they need, and find a role that you feel is within your scope of knowledge and capabilities. This may sound harsh. But when someone's wellbeing is at stake, the Peer Counselor has the responsibility to step up and gain the basic knowledge they need when they start using that role, or have a vast catalogue of referral sources, books, notecards, websites, and phone numbers.

- The person is hearing voices, seeing things, having "visions," hurting themselves or threatening to, in need of medical attention, or in some other kind of danger. Don't question it, don't second guess it, GET HELP.

- Understand that some people in SL roleplay mental illness. Yep, as odd as that sounds, they will seek out someone who they can "game" and go from there. If you refer them to RL help, they always have a reason they can't go and can *only* talk in-world. If you tell them they must see a doctor, they may disappear, only to create an alt and come back with the same story. You try to set a reasonable boundary, they threaten to hurt themselves. You ask them to see a doctor, they tell you a doctor kidnapped their family and they are now "afraid of doctors." The more outlandish the story, the more you need to be aware that it may not be true. So what do you do, deny help? Absolutely not. You give the kind of help they actually need - referral, groups, information.

- When you find yourself trying harder than the person you are trying to help, when you are logged on 20 hours a day, when worry over your role as a Peer Counselor has you losing sleep and stressed out to the max - it's time to look at that and get some help and support yourself. "I can't stand what she has been through!", "I can't take the stress anymore, I am terrified he will hurt himself!!", "I can't log off, she may need me and if I am not here, what would happen to her?" are all word for word examples of things Peer Counselors in SL have said to me. They had lost their boundaries, their objectivity, and their ability to detach. That is a warning sign. If this happens to you, reach out for help. Not for your clients, for you.

I have linked each term to a website that tells you a bit about it - it will be a starting place for you to begin your own library and list of bookmarks to learn about counseling and all its aspects. Why so much medical info? Because that is usually a part of the resident's RL experience, and it helps to know what they are talking about. To be thoroughly trained in the topics below takes years. This is offered as an overview for anyone who wants to do Peer Counseling.

None of this can substitute for RL medical or psychological care when needed, and is offered solely for educational purposes.

HIPAA (not HIPPA or HIPPO, this is something you must know about rights to privacy)

The links above will give you some information to help you understand the different kinds of therapists. Remember, SL has NO screening process in place. Anyone in SL can say they are anything. By doing some homework, you will be able to at least get a feeling for the person you are talking to and not only whether or not they are legitimate, but if they have a good fit for the kind of help you need. A license or an advanced degree are no guarantee of excellent care for every problem, but they do give you an idea that the person has been trained and has some experience.

Also remember that different countries have different standards. Some countries require licensure to use the title Psychologist, for example. Others don't, in fact some people in SL without degrees or licensure call themselves Psychologists. Many profiles claim to be "Full qualified in RL as a counselor." Ask the person what they mean. Do they have a diploma with a couple of classes, or have they spent years in advanced study with supervised experience?

Empathetic, caring, professional counseling can help you feel your best, uncover your true selves, and offer support as you find our way.

We offer counseling services by appointment to individuals and couples, as well as group therapy sessions on a variety of topics. Perhaps you are facing relationship issues, or exploring new aspects of yourself in a virtual environment. Utilizing a person-centered approach, we are here to help you on your journey to self-discovery and personal growth and acceptance. Not a roleplay, but genuine talk therapy. Other helpful techniques that may be used are cognitive behavioral, psychoanalytic, and dialectical behavior therapies - and more. It's about you, and meeting your unique needs as a client.

We listen. We do not judge. We are not here to give you the answers, but to help you find your own. We respect and celebrate your individuality.